Every Who Down in Whoville Liked Christmas a lOTT...

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Strell

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But the Grinch,Who lived just north of Whoville, Did NOTT!
The Grinch hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season!
Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
It could be his head wasn't screwed on just right.
It could be, perhaps, that his shoes were too tight.
But I think that the most likely reason of all,
May have been that his heart was two sizes too small.
Whatever the reason, His heart or his shoes,
He stood there on Christmas Eve, hating the Whos,
Staring down from his cave with a sour, Grinchy frown,
At the warm lighted windows below in their town.
For he knew every Who down in Whoville beneath,
Was busy now, hanging a mistletoe wreath.
"And they're hanging their stockings!" he snarled with a sneer,
"Tomorrow is Christmas! It's practically here!"
Then he growled, with his Grinch fingers nervously drumming,
"I MUST find some way to stop Christmas from coming!"
For Tomorrow, he knew, all the Who girls and boys,
Would wake bright and early. They'd rush for their toys!
And then! Oh, the noise! Oh, the Noise!
Noise! Noise! Noise!
That's one thing he hated! The NOISE!
NOISE! NOISE! NOISE!
Then the Whos, young and old, would sit down to a feast.
And they'd feast! And they'd feast! And they'd FEAST!
FEAST! FEAST! FEAST!
They would feast on Who-pudding, and rare Who-roast beast.
Which was something the Grinch couldn't stand in the least!
And THEN They'd do something He liked least of all!
Every Who down in Whoville, the tall and the small,
Would stand close together, with Christmas bells ringing.
They'd stand hand-in-hand. And the Whos would start singing!
They'd sing! And they'd sing! And they'd SING!
SING! SING! SING!
And the more the Grinch thought of this Who ChristmasSing,
The more the Grinch thought, "I must stop this whole thing!"
"Why, for fifty-three years I've put up with it now!"
"I MUST stop this Christmas from coming! But HOW?"
Then he got an idea! An awful idea!
THE GRINCH GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!
"I know just what to do!" The Grinch laughed in his throat.
And he made a quick Santy Claus hat and a coat.
And he chuckled, and clucked, "What a great Grinchy trick!"
"With this coat and this hat, I look just like Saint Nick!"
"All I need is a reindeer..." The Grinch looked around.
But, since reindeer are scarce, there was none to be found.
Did that stop the old Grinch? No! The Grinch simply said,
"If I can't find a reindeer, I'll make one instead!"
So he called his dog, Max. Then he took some red thread,
And he tied a big horn on the top of his head.
THEN He loaded some bags And some old empty sacks,
On a ramshackle sleigh And he hitched up old Max.
Then the Grinch said, "Giddap!" And the sleigh started down,
Toward the homes where the Whos Lay asnooze in their town.
All their windows were dark. Quiet snow filled the air.
All the Whos were all dreaming sweet dreams without care.
When he came to the first little house on the square.
"This is stop number one," the old Grinchy Claus hissed,
And he climbed to the roof, empty bags in his fist.
Then he slid down the chimney. A rather tight pinch.
But, if Santa could do it, then so could the Grinch.
He got stuck only once, for a moment or two.
Then he stuck his head out of the fireplace flue.
Where the little Who stockings all hung in a row.
"These stockings," he grinned, "are the first things to go!"
Then he slithered and slunk, with a smile most unpleasant,
Around the whole room, and he took every present!
Pop guns! And bicycles! Roller skates! Drums!
Checkerboards! Tricycles! Popcorn! And plums!
And he stuffed them in bags. Then the Grinch, very nimbly,
Stuffed all the bags, one by one, up the chimney!
Then he slunk to the icebox. He took the Whos' feast!
He took the Who-pudding! He took the roast beast!
He cleaned out that icebox as quick as a flash.
Why, that Grinch even took their last can of Who-hash!
Then he stuffed all the food up the chimney with glee.
"And NOW!" grinned the Grinch, "I will stuff up the tree!"
And the Grinch grabbed the tree, and he started to shove,
When he heard a small sound like the coo of a dove.
He turned around fast, and he saw a small Who!
Little Cindy-Lou Who, who was not more than two.
The Grinch had been caught by this tiny Who daughter,
Who'd got out of bed for a cup of cold water.
She stared at the Grinch and said, "Santy Claus, why,”
"Why are you taking our Christmas tree? WHY?"
But, you know, that old Grinch was so smart and so slick,
He thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick!
"Why, my sweet little tot," the fake Santy Claus lied,
"There's a light on this tree that won't light on one side."
"So I'm taking it home to my workshop, my dear."
"I'll fix it up there. Then I'll bring it back here."
And his fib fooled the child. Then he patted her head,
And he got her a drink and he sent her to bed.
And when CindyLou Who went to bed with her cup,
HE went to the chimney and stuffed the tree up!
Then the last thing he took Was the log for their fire!
Then he went up the chimney, himself, the old liar.
On their walls he left nothing but hooks and some wire.
And the one speck of food That he left in the house,
Was a crumb that was even too small for a mouse.
Then He did the same thing To the other Whos' houses
Leaving crumbs Much too small For the other Whos' mouses!
It was quarter past dawn... All the Whos, still a-bed,
All the Whos, still asnooze When he packed up his sled,
Packed it up with their presents! The ribbons! The wrappings!
The tags! And the tinsel! The trimmings! The trappings!
Three thousand feet up! Up the side of Mt. Crumpit,
He rode with his load to the tiptop to dump it!
"PoohPooh to the Whos!" he was grinchishly humming.
"They're finding out now that no Christmas is coming!"
"They're just waking up! I know just what they'll do!"
"Their mouths will hang open a minute or two,
Then the Whos down in Whoville will all cry BooHoo!"
"That's a noise," grinned the Grinch, "That I simply MUST hear!"
So he paused. And the Grinch put his hand to his ear.
And he did hear a sound rising over the snow.
It started in low. Then it started to grow.
But the sound wasn't sad! Why, this sound sounded merry!
It couldn't be so! But it WAS merry! VERY!
He stared down at Whoville! The Grinch popped his eyes!
Then he shook! What he saw was a shocking surprise!
Every Who down in Whoville, the tall and the small,
Was singing! Without any presents at all!
He HADN'T stopped Christmas from coming! IT CAME!
Somehow or other, it came just the same!
And the Grinch, with his grinch-feet ice-cold in the snow,
Stood puzzling and puzzling: "How could it be so?"
"It came with out ribbons! It came without tags!"
"It came without packages, boxes or bags!"
And he puzzled three hours, till his puzzler was sore.
Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before!
"Maybe Christmas," he thought, "doesn't come from a store."
"Maybe Christmas...perhaps...means a little bit more!"
And what happened then? Well...in Whoville they say,
That the Grinch's small heart Grew three sizes that day!
And the minute his heart didn't feel quite so tight,
He whizzed with his load through the bright morning light,
And he brought back the toys! And the food for the feast!
And he, HE HIMSELF! The Grinch carved the roast beast!

RIP Dr. Seuss.

If you want a non-holiday OTT, give it here and this one can be saved for later.
 
Mysteries from previous OTTs include:

How is Moxio using the internet in the middle of a blackout (or is he exaggerating about the amount of time he was without internet)?

Is an OTT topic that makes baby Jesus cry still considered holiday themed?(I was planning on posting this question before the OTT was ninja-locked)
 
[quote name='RedvsBlue']Mysteries from previous OTTs include:

How is Moxio using the internet in the middle of a blackout (or is he exaggerating about the amount of time he was without internet)?

Is an OTT topic that makes baby Jesus cry still considered holiday themed?(I was planning on posting this question before the OTT was ninja-locked)[/quote]
The electricity was out for three and a half days (starting ~midnight early Friday) and completely out until just a few hours ago. During this time, I had no way to cook my food, entertain myself with anything electric (board games and books only go so far), even turn on the fucking lights in my room, or keep my foods fresh in the freezer/fridge meaning I have to BUY fuckING NEW FOOD GOD I HATE THIS.

Sorry.
 
[quote name='RedvsBlue']Mysteries from previous OTTs include:

How is Moxio using the internet in the middle of a blackout (or is he exaggerating about the amount of time he was without internet)?[/quote]See previous OTT, because his intarwebs + electricity are back.

edit: Moxio beat me to it.

[quote name='RedvsBlue'](I was planning on posting this question before the OTT was ninja-locked)[/quote]:lol:
Great way to put it.
It really was ninja-locked, I clicked it when it was open and it loaded locked. Kinda caught me off guard.
 
Is it me, or is playing You Don't Know Jack while intoxicated really really fun? Or are most CAGS here too young too to play or even know about the game???

I wish they didn't charge 25 bucks to buy the game from their website. I guess thats what you get when they don't sell it at retail anymore...
 
[quote name='RedvsBlue']Is an OTT topic that makes baby Jesus cry still considered holiday themed?(I was planning on posting this question before the OTT was ninja-locked)[/QUOTE]

Like I said there will be another OTT if not 2 before christmas is here. So plenty of time for more holiday OTTs.
 
[quote name='HumanSnatcher']Is it me, or is playing You Don't Know Jack while intoxicated really really fun? Or are most CAGS here too young too to play or even know about the game???

I wish they didn't charge 25 bucks to buy the game from their website. I guess thats what you get when they don't sell it at retail anymore...[/QUOTE]

If you're buying that game, then you don't know jack. :)
 
[quote name='HumanSnatcher']Is it me, or is playing You Don't Know Jack while intoxicated really really fun? Or are most CAGS here too young too to play or even know about the game???

I wish they didn't charge 25 bucks to buy the game from their website. I guess thats what you get when they don't sell it at retail anymore...[/quote]

I have the original around somewhere. My greatest memory of it is the fuck You Gibberish Question thing.

[quote name='mr ryles']I thought roast beef was only good for sammichs[/quote]

I eat roast beef whenever I can get it :lol:
 
Who here wants to hear one of my remixes? Anyone?

One night only offer.... trust me, a few of you NIN fans might like this one. Just found it in my archives. Nearly forgot I did this remix.
 
[quote name='mr ryles']If you're buying that game, then you don't know jack. :)[/quote]

No if you buy it at that price, then you dont know jack. I have vols 1/XL, 2, Offline. I have disc 2 of The Ride (my personal favorite), and can't find me discs for vol 3 and The Movies
 
[quote name='HumanSnatcher']No if you buy it at that price, then you dont know jack. I have vols 1/XL, 2, Offline. I have disc 2 of The Ride (my personal favorite), and can't find me discs for vol 3 and The Movies[/quote]

I have the very first one, and Mock 2 on PS1.
 
[quote name='HumanSnatcher']Depends on what its a remix of...no offense[/QUOTE]

Nine Inch Nails - Only

Its not your typical club/dance remix either.
 
[quote name='Demolition Man']Who here wants to hear one of my remixes? Anyone?

One night only offer.... trust me, a few of you NIN fans might like this one. Just found it in my archives. Nearly forgot I did this remix.[/quote]

Post it on rapidshare or some site like that
 
[quote name='HumanSnatcher']I've always wanted to get a copy for PS1...[/quote]

I got Mock 2 way back, at Gamecrazy, along with a complete, non-GH copy of FFVII, for $10.
 
[quote name='Demolition Man']Nine Inch Nails - Only

Its not your typical club/dance remix either.[/quote]Can't hurt to listen to it.
UL it somewhere.
 
Some days I really wonder...What's the point of two memory card slots if like two games actually seem to acknowledge the second port? I have no clue how many times a week I have to switch my two memory cards cause the game won't acknowledge the second port...
 
[quote name='RedvsBlue']Mysteries from previous OTTs include:

How is Moxio using the internet in the middle of a blackout (or is he exaggerating about the amount of time he was without internet)?

Is an OTT topic that makes baby Jesus cry still considered holiday themed?(I was planning on posting this question before the OTT was ninja-locked)[/quote]

During the big black OTT out of August 2003, we still had phones. Being forced to drop down to dial-up speeds from broadband was the second worst part of that (having a 40 week along pregnant woman in an apartment with no A/C was way worse).
 
[quote name='Moxio']The electricity was out for three and a half days (starting ~midnight early Friday) and completely out until just a few hours ago. During this time, I had no way to cook my food, entertain myself with anything electric (board games and books only go so far), even turn on the fucking lights in my room, or keep my foods fresh in the freezer/fridge meaning I have to BUY fuckING NEW FOOD GOD I HATE THIS.

Sorry.[/QUOTE]

Yeah, I thought you had posted just 2 days ago but I had the times/days screwed up because of the forum clock being set to GMT. I've got it now.
 
I think I'm OTT to watch some Firefly now. Finally started to watch the boxset I bought over a year ago. Pretty decent show so far. :D

Let me know what you folks think of my NIN remix. :)
 
[quote name='MorbidAngel4Life']I have the original around somewhere. My greatest memory of it is the fuck You Gibberish Question thing.[/quote]
I have the original. I might even have the original box lying around somewhere.
 
Nice, Strell. :D

Watching Crash. Been a while since I saw it, but bought it at FYE a few days ago. Love this movie.

I'm at the part where the racist cop saves the black chick.
 
[quote name='Strell']Awesome. I have an idea for my VGCats Holiday Contest comic strip now. Hopefully it is funny enough to at least get noticed/mentioned/whateva.

I feel this overwhelming need to talk more about it, but I guess I gotsta keep it secret.

My gf laughed at it though. I guess that's a good start.[/QUOTE] I think that's called pity. ;)
 
[quote name='Demolition Man']
There is nOTT enough OTT in the topic damn OTT.[/QUOTE]

Said the Grinch in the thread with a voice full of rot,
"Not enough OTT!" he thought and he thought!
Til the sounds of chattering keyboards he heard,
All the while new posts pouring in with sweet word,
"This will not do!" he grumbled and said,
"No it will not!" as he scratched his big head,
"Instead I will make my own OTT,
and fill it with joozlers, jamboozlers and me!
None of this holiday nonsense, I say!
None of it now! No, not today!"
And he sat and he sat, his computer all steady,
waiting for five hundred posts at the ready,
Hitting the keys in the glow of the night,
To speed up the process, to bring on his right!
To speak of wangtinglers and candied dangdinglers!
Lots of bandsinglers and even a landpingler!
"Yes!" he cried as the numbers did rise,
"To the next one!" he said with a glint in his eyes,
"This 'ole Grinch has a trick up his sleeve,
And yes, oh yes! I'll make them all grieve!
For I'll make this new OTT, and I swear,
That come tomorrow, the board will be bare!
And all their cries and their boohoos I'll cherish with glee,
Ho ho! Oh yes! Then they'll all see!
For what good, I ask, is an OTT,
When it is filled with nothing but some Goatse?"
And that mean 'ole Grinch, we all know it was coming,
Did bring us the picture of a man's corn-hole-ing,
And he laughed in the night and he felt so proud,
Chortling haha! and hehe! He did it so loud!
Til he looked back at the screen, and what do you know,
He found the OTT had been deleted, oh no!
"What is this?" he snarled, his fingers all greasy,
"Did that picture not make them all queasy?
It had everything! The grossest of gross!
Worse than a man eating poo-toast!"
But try as he might, that Grinchy 'ole Grinch,
OTT still came, it came in a sinch!
And all the posters came jostled in spin,
To talk of strange things, they were FTW,
And the Grinch sat as his monitor, puzzled along,
"Maybe," he thought, "I've got it all wrong,
Maybe the OTT isn't all mine,
And maybe it comes from others just fine!"
And then something happened, OTTers say,
That the Grinch's head shrunk three sizes that day,
To the size of a large cabbage, about an XL,
But still a little larger (though most could not tell),
And he posted and posted (once the ban was all done),
And in the OTT, he had so much fun!
That 'ole Grinch, wouldn't you know?
Even named the next one, without pictures of woe!
And all were happy and spoke in the thread,
Of foozlers and woozlers and other things said,
The OTT was merry, so full of cheer,
The Grinch and the lot, all said "Hear hear!
The OTT is ours, our domain and our place,
Speaking such nonsense in this wonderful space,
Til the end of the interwebs, the end of all time,
and even until the end of this rhyme!"





You fuckers better enjoy this.
 
Why do people feel the need to talk during the endings to anything when they just get there. I sank 60 hours into the game and now you decide to watch when 5 minutes are left and ask questions about what's going on.
 
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