Screech is now a...porn star?

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http://www.nydailynews.com/front/story/456179p-383834c.html

He may have played nerdy eighth-grader Samuel (Screech) Powers in the sitcom "Saved by the Bell." But former TV geek Dustin Diamond can now take his place with Colin Farrell, Tommy Lee and Kid Rock as the star of his very own sex tape.


Everyone who remembers Diamond as a lovable putz is in for a shock once they see a 40-minute video in which he engages in a kinky three-way with two women, sources tell us.

We can't get too graphic here, but word is that the action includes some bodily functions and an act known as a "Dirty Sanchez."

Phoenix-based agent David Hans Schmidt, who has brokered some of Hollywood's biggest celebrity-skin deals, confirms that he's acquired the rights to a tape featuring Diamond.

"Just when you think you have seen everything in this business," he tells us, "mankind has raised the bar another notch. Or lowered it."
Schmidt is in L.A., shopping the tape to Hustler's Larry Flynt, Vivid's Steven Hirsch and other major distributors of adult video.

Now age 29, the 6-foot Diamond is much brawnier than you may remember him. He's a black belt in karate, and, four years ago, he defeated Ron Palillo (Horshack on "Welcome Back, Kotter") on Fox's "Celebrity Boxing 2."

Diamond's manager, Roger Paul, said his client has become a successful standup comic and will appear on the ABC sitcom "The Knights of Prosperity."
"I haven't seen the tape," Paul told us. "I've heard rumors. Dustin has been trying to escape the Screech typecast. So this may help me get more bookings."

In 1996, former "Saved by the Bell" sweetheart Elizabeth Berkley bared all in the Paul Verhoeven-Joe Eszterhas trashterpiece, "Show Girls." The sex vid's working title is "Saved by the Smell." Ewwwww.
Click to expand...

Wow, just wow.
 
I never figured Screech was a Dirty Sanchez kind of guy. I always thought he was more of a Cleveland Steamer man, or possibly Bearded Spainiard.
 
I bet VaginaManillaGorillaThrilla just posted:

[quote name='VaginaManillaGorillaThrilla']I just updated my rosters.....IN MY PANTS!!![/quote]
 
[quote name='evanft']I bet VaginaManillaGorillaThrilla just posted:[/quote]

Uh, ok. Kinda lost me there. Although it's not the first time I've been referred to as a Vagina Thrilla.
 
Respect for the man just went up a million points, not only a sex tape but two chicks at once, if anything this will only help his career
 
[quote name='Saucy Jack']I know that all of you will buy it if during the Dirty Sanchez, Mr. Belding comes in...

"Hey, hey, hey! What is going on here?!" :lol:[/QUOTE]

:rofl:

It would be great if they were saved by the bell look alikes... Screech would not only get to bag Lisa, but also give her a dirty sanchez.
 
[quote name='Xevious']Why won't these celebrities ever learn?:wall:[/QUOTE]

I dunno... doing porn really helped my career...
 
I remember the whole save Screech's house thing not too long ago. you got a t-shirt for a $15 donation or something. I thought that was kinda ridiculous.

At the time I was thinking if he's that hard up for cash. He should swallow what little pride he has, schmecky some skank in the pooper and post the video on the internet. Apparently he's gone one better with the 3some and the dirty sanchez.
 
A few months ago, Screech was on Howard Stern (trying to get people to buy t-shrits as snotknocker just posted) and revealted that he had a very large penis. Howard suggested he get into porn and Screech refused.

I guess he really needs the money!
 
[quote name='Ikohn4ever']the only way I would watch it if it had Kelly, Lisa and Jessie in it[/quote]

Do you know how many copies that would sell!
 
[quote name='I AM WILLIAM H. MACY']Haha, misread and thought it said "Scorch"[/QUOTE]

Well, you see, now that would be interesting.
 
This is how the conversation went:
Screech: Hey I'm really hard up for money right now, man.
Agent: Well whats big in hollywood right now.
Screech: Well I can't stop watching that Paris Hilton video.
Agent: Bam Baby! Pick up a chick and record it.
Screech: But that's been done soooo many times.
Agent: Okay... Let me think...... Bust out two girls and do something really nasty.
Screech: Two Girls!?! I haven't even had two girls talk to me in my life...
Agent: Never mind that.... I'll set it up, there's gotta be some chicks hard up for some money somewhere. You bang em' and I will pretend it got stolen and you'll be big baby!
Screech: Really that would be great, I really want to get my Saved By The Bell Wardrobe out of hauck.
Agent: When I'm through with ya, you'll be wearing gold diapers baby!
Screech: More Cowbell!!!!

Thus a celebrity scandal is born.
 
Giving a women a Dirty Sanchez is the only way he can feel good about himself. I'm just going to go ahead and make a rough generalization and say that only hookers would let some give them a DS.
 
[quote name='CheapyD']A few months ago, Screech was on Howard Stern (trying to get people to buy t-shrits as snotknocker just posted) and revealted that he had a very large penis. Howard suggested he get into porn and Screech refused.

I guess he really needs the money![/QUOTE]

Yep, that was the BIG converstion about screech....apparently he is hung very well (he said his penis touches the toilet water when sitting on the bowl), so he's not really ashamed of making a porn tape.

He needed money BAD too.

I thought he was engaged though? Although, when is this tape from?

Good for Screech ;)
 
WTF is a Dirty Sanchez?!? Anyone know if there's a wiki about it? Oh, wait I found something:

"Dirty Sanchez, the stagename of Swedish Professional Wrestler Wadrian Elter."

Doesn't make sense...Nevermind...I kept reading.
 
Well this is unexpected yet amusing news. All the teen actors from my generation are probably now all going to have stolen sex tapes on the market. I bet the Pink Power Ranger is next.

oh, I feel bad for the people that donated money to save his house, he probably used the cash to pay these hookers to make this tape with him.
 
[quote name='Number83']WTF is a Dirty Sanchez?!? Anyone know if there's a wiki about it? Oh, wait I found something:

"Dirty Sanchez, the stagename of Swedish Professional Wrestler Wadrian Elter."

Doesn't make sense...Nevermind...I kept reading.[/QUOTE]
Yeah, I mean what's so scandalous? He gave one of the girls this?:
1030447.jpg

I didn't think he'd be so hip!
 
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