Gersh darn up early cause this here brisket ate up all the damn coals. Knew she would. Big sumbitch. Don't tell nobody, but after all them Texans go home (or go to bed, I made Texans and even sleep wif em), I sneak in the kitchen and put the brisket on a kaiser roll with cole slaw. Oh, Nouf Kakalaki, I ain't never had better. Barbeque'in in them beautiful mountains...mmmmm.
Alright, tube foolishness. Lib perspective on something or something because eeeeempathy has been sucked out of them there humanity and now we all preeeeetend to be drooling idiots because it works well on this communcatin medium thang. If that's the case, get rid of the god damn medium I say. But here I am. I wish I could quit ya, tubes. For being so damned good with the crop reports and the weather and Amazon, you sure is a giant piece uh shit.
I ain't familiararized with Bob's puuuuurticular version of brilliant way to stop stupid poors from spending mah moneh. But if you could point me in its general diiiiirection soon, I'd love to talk about it at Church this mornin. Pastor Jeb loves stories like thems.
Anyways gittin on topic however you deeeeefine that I 'spose. When talkin at others, I try tah think uh what a smart person says. That way people think I'm smart and not... well not smart I guess. So I'm thinkin and I say hey, I bet smart person would say them datum would be very good and smart. I mean hell, mah woman has feels and sheeeeet, but I sure as hell ain't lettin her driiiiiiive mah truck when she's thinkin with her feels. Wimmim and lip wrist types go by feels. Lotta wimmin in here thinking with feels on a vidya internet board. Good I 'spose. More tyyyyyyyyyyphes of people playin the vidyas means more money and more game type 'speriences. Which reminds me I gotta play World Ends With You. Funny lookin mechanic and you know them asiatics got them weird stories. Prolly tentacles somewhere.
But out here where them storms roll in low and a man gotta work fer his food and we ain't got no tentacles, we use data like a thinkin man.
Snap. I ain't paaaaaaaarticularly partial to people stealin from Snap. It just ain't right. And that's bout the long n short uh that.
..but them the part of me that says hey pretend tuh be a smart person, a smart person could do better. And I wonder like how then? And then that part says well Mr. Fancy Pants wants to be treated like them smart type adults with them tweed jackets, then he best begin by flippin tuh page 5 on this here peeedeeeefffff.
http://www.fns.usda.gov/ORA/menu/Published/SNAP/FILES/ProgramIntegrity/Trafficking2009.pdf
And then it says as you can see here, 1.3% of Snap is trafficked for an estimated total of $858 million annually. Assuming there's more fraud than detected (we'll add an additional 15%, a reasonably round number for an uneducated guess), we'll make it an even billion dollars.
So we got here a billion dollars in Snap fraud. Burns me up. But we also have limited enforcement dollars for the whole of government. It ain't like we can just grow government with as many fraud detectors and employees as we want. Turns out each party disapproves of detecting fraud if it's the kind of fraud they like. So with limited resources, it makes best sense to look at where the biggest fraud is and therefore get the best ROI on our fraud detection dollar.
Tax evasion appears to go from $300 billion to $500 billion annually. We'll use the lowest possible number (so the bullshitting no data wimmins-with-feels don't start crying all over their keyboards) then shave another 15% off, which means tax evasion costs America $250 billion annually. A quarter of a trillion dollars. Every year. Whether Walmart is accidentally putting a chicken in every pot or not.
Total tally:
$1 B - Snap fraud
$250B - Tax fraud
Darrell Issa says there's $125B in Medicare fraud. Politifact says the number is closer to $50B and even that can't be verified. So we'll cut $50B in half and be reasonable sure we're waaaaaaaaaaaay underneath.
Total tally:
$1 B - Snap fraud
$250B - Tax fraud
$25 B - Medicare fraud
The DOD says it lost $1.1B to fraud just in relation to money transfers relating to soldiers only. No contractors. Just soldiers. Page 14.
http://www.gao.gov/assets/660/654534.pdf
$1 B - Snap fraud
$250 B - Tax fraud
$25 B - Medicare fraud
$1.1 B -Soldier fraud
The DOD also says it lost a trillion dollars to contractor fraud over the last decade. Cover letter here:
http://www.sanders.senate.gov/imo/media/doc/102011%20-%20DOD%20Fraud%20Report.pdf
Table here:
http://www.sanders.senate.gov/imo/media/doc/102011-Combined_DOD_Fraud_Tables.pdf
$1 B - Snap fraud
$250 B - Tax fraud
$25 B - Medicare fraud
$1.1 B - Soldier fraud
$100 B - DOD contractor fraud
Rearranged for her pleasure:
$250 B - Tax fraud
$100 B - DOD contractor fraud
$25 B - Medicare fraud
$1.1 B - Soldier fraud
$1 B - Snap fraud
Of these 5 categories of fraud (randomly selected ones I knew would be big), Snap fraud accounts for 0.002% of the total fraud by dollar amount. Say that

ing number out loud. And that's with me tilting the table against Snap at every turn to make it look more important. SAY IT OUT LOUD YOU ASSHOLES.
This is why we can't have nice things. Chickens at Walmart. Small ball stupidity at its finest. Jamie Dimon just shit out a $13B fine Friday and we're "worrying" about a bil.
GOD DAMN POORS TAKKIN ALL MAH FRYIN CHIKKINS WHERES THE OUTRAGE YOU STUPID LIBRULS
Gosh dern brisket ain't breakin through the stall. Needs'a hurry up. Some of ya'll like to crutch to get through it. Some also drink tea and care about upvotes. I ain't doin none of that. Upvotes and crutches and tea is fer wimmin with feels. The brisket will hit 197 as God intended. Low n slow.