Bloodrayne movie review

Rags

Rags

CAGiversary!
I saw Bloodrayne last night, did not pay for it so that was why. Anyway here goes.

Starting with the cast

Kristanna Loken as Rayne - She looked the part, but did not really have the part of a bloodthirsty vampire killer down right. Not sure how to explain it, she just did not play the part well. At one part when her sword breaks I thought she was going to cry, vampires DO NOT cry.

Michael Madsen as Vladmir - This guy is terrible, could not have been more terrible if they tried. He looked like an idiot and sounded worse. Not sure what they were trying to acomplish with his character. And worse off, he was supposed to be one of the main bad asses. Lame all around.

Matthew Davis as Sebastian - This guy was not too bad, I'll give him credit. He was not to great at action scenes but he was not terrible overall I don't think.

Michelle Rodriguez as Katarin - I am usually a Rodriguez fan, but this movie sapped her. Did not care for here character much. She had the same bad ass chick character she always does, but I did not care for it in this movie.

Ben Kingsley as Kagan - After seeing the most powerful vampire in Underworld 2, Kagan was a joke. Just lame if you ask me.

Meatloaf as Leonid - Meatloaf? Meatloaf? What the hell was anyone thinking? He did not fit this part at all, he is not an action character. He is OK in some movies, but it's sure as hell not this.

The rest of the cast is not so great and not worth mentioning at all. There were some neat looking characters, but they were all written poorly so they could not be taken seriosly. I am not going to bother looking it up, but I swear the guy from Titanic that was Leonardo Dicaprio's nemesis was a vampire in this movie. Good choice!!!

Next is the Action

Pretty bad overall. Rayne could have been a neat character, but she was just crappy in this movie. There really were not many action scenes in this movie, which should have been mostly action and the scenes there was fighting were crappy. Some parts reminded me of the beginning of Batman Begins where he was training to fight. There were parts in this movie that she was training with others to be a fighter, but she seemed to fight better at the beginning of the movie before she even had the training. During the action scenes whenever someone would be cut the camera would zoom in on the cut and blood would shoot everywhere, and it looked horrible. The camera should have just stayed where it was, and perhaps it may have looke a tad better.

The Story

I never played much of the games and correct me if I am wrong, but isn't the game based on a vampire who kills nazis that carry guns? This movie is based in midevil days. If making a movie based on a game at least keep it the same general plot. A lot of people disliked the Resident Evil movies but at least they still had zombies in them. Overall, horrible story of the old "I must kill my father" crap plotline.

Overall

The movie looked like it was shot in someone's back yard with a camera that they had bought from Best Buy, so you can count out any good spectial effects.
There were some parts that could have been decent had they been done a little better, but overall this movie was crap. House of the Dead was 100% shit, Alone in the Dark was bad but was a little bit better, but Bloodrayne is complete trash. House of the Dead was horrible, but it just had this feel to it that made me laugh. Bloodrayne was just overall bad, and had no real saving points. The cast was bad, the story was terrible, and the action was not good either. Perhaps it would be better if a movie were to be based off of a good game, and not a bargain bin game that had a horrible plot to begin with.


SCORE 1.6/10
Movie had some neat swords, just wish there there were some good action scenes that they would have been used in.
 
[quote name='Rags']At one part when her sword breaks I thought she was going to cry, vampires DO NOT cry.[/quote]

I'm guessing you're not an Anne Rice fan.
 
[quote name='Rags']Never heard of her, who is she?[/quote]

Not a fan of reading? Shes an author.

And also, avoid movies which involved Uwe Boll, like the plague. So that means avoid Dungeon Siege, if he's still attached to it.
 
I know Boll sucks, that's why I did not pay for the movie. I will watch practically anything for free, whether people agree means nothing. Just giving a review

And just because I never read that Anne Rice book does not mean I am not a fan of reading. There are millions of books out, do you expect me to sift through everyone and read everything. Last few books I've read were the Resident Evil books, pretty good if you ask me.
 
[quote name='Rags']I know Boll sucks, that's why I did not pay for the movie. I will watch practically anything for free, whether people agree means nothing. Just giving a review

And just because I never read that Anne Rice book does not mean I am not a fan of reading. There are millions of books out, do you expect me to sift through everyone and read everything. Last few books I've read were the Resident Evil books, pretty good if you ask me.[/quote]

To each their own on the free movie thing. Some movies are so terrible, they should be paying you for your suffering.

Anne Rice is very well known author and I was surprised you never heard of her, why I posed the question I did.

I'm willing to guess, when you're asked to name 10 authors, they'd be way off the norm. Am I correct?

And by norm, I mean general consensus.
 
To tell you the truth, I really don't pay attention to author names. I seem to like books based on zombies and horror stuff like that. I like vampire movies, but I don't read many vampire books, just can't get into them.
 
By the way, I don't know why I do this, but I can watch the same bad movie over and over again. I know it's bad, yet I watch it again. There has only been a few movies I have not been able to get through. "It's Pat" comes to mind. That is the worst fucking movie I have ever seen.

Keep in mind, watching movies is not the only thing I do. When I used to live at my parent's a few years ago they had HBO, I would stay up and watch 2-3 movies on a Friday night. There are some terrible movies on past midnight on HBO, at least there used to be. I watched them all the time though.
 
This movie left me with one feeling. This movie had so much potential that was unfulfilled. This movie could have been great. But the director killed it. He just doesn't know how to inspire/get the proper emotion out of his actors for the right scenes is the most immediate one of his problems that come to mind.

But with the guy From Transporter, Kristanna Loken , Burt Reynolds. I like all three of them enough that I'll go see Dungean Siege. And hope to god there good enough actors to carry the movie. Kind of like the situation I have with X-men 3.
 
The first time I saw Kellsey Grammer was in X-Men 3 as Beast I thought "what the hell". Then I thought about it a bit and after that, even know I am not a Grammer fan I believe Kellsey Grammer is probably the perfect person for Beast. He just has that voice that matches Beast to a dime.
 
[quote name='Rags']To tell you the truth, I really don't pay attention to author names. I seem to like books based on zombies and horror stuff like that. I like vampire movies, but I don't read many vampire books, just can't get into them.[/quote]
Ever read this http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1400049628/sr=8-1/qid=1140803244/ref=pd_bbs_1/102-6795005-2066553?%5Fencoding=UTF8

Rather funny book detailing how to survive various levels of Zombie outbreaks, written in the style of a wilderness survival guide.
 
[quote name='Rags'] The movie looked like it was shot in someone's back yard with a camera that they had bought from Best Buy, so you can count out any good spectial effects..[/quote] And this guy Uwe Boll wants to make a Fry Cry movie next..How sad.

EDIT...I meant Far Cry...Not Fry Cry. Ha Ha Guardian Owl (see comment below)
 
[quote name='Xevious']And this guy Uwe Boll wants to make a Fry Cry movie next..How sad.[/quote]
fry-cry.jpg
 
I was trying to be unjudgemental of Boll's past works throughout when I was writing that. I don't see how he can make a scene and think "That....was......AWESOME!!!!!"

Bloodrayne's story was just a refied version of something that has been done a ton of times. It was not even Bloodrayne after he was done with it.
He takes games, looks at the cover and then goes to work on his own storyline. None of the movies he has done have a wink of anything to do with the games. And he blames the video game companies and the " fans that don't know what they want" for his movies sucking.

Once again, the guy who played Vladmir was one of the worst acting jobs I have ever seen. It was like he was trying to be a mideval William Shatner.
 
I see that I did go overboard on the whole vampires don't cry. I did not mind the tears at the end of the end of the movie, bt it fit there. The crying over the sword was just lame.

Has anyone else seen this movie? The part where Vladmir and Sebastian get out of jail was something else. It might as well have been like this.

Vladmir - "Hey, can you let us out of here jailmaster"?

Jailmaster - "Sure, I don't see why not"
 
[quote name='Rags']I see that I did go overboard on the whole vampires don't cry. I did not mind the tears at the end of the end of the movie, bt it fit there. The crying over the sword was just lame.

Has anyone else seen this movie? The part where Vladmir and Sebastian get out of jail was something else. It might as well have been like this.

Vladmir - "Hey, can you let us out of here jailmaster"?

Jailmaster - "Sure, I don't see why not"[/quote]
Nope, I avoid his movies cause I know they'll just make me angry/bored.
 
[quote name='guardian_owl']Nope, I avoid his movies cause I know they'll just make me angry/bored.[/quote]

That or possibly tear out your eyes, throw you refreshments at the screen, and lastly, get up and scream and throw your refreshments and leave.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
bread's done
Back
Top